Reclaim Your True Self: How to Integrate Your Shadows and Thrive

ecoming whole.

What does this mean?

“When you welcome your fears with an open heart, they will be transformed into the greatest allies of your life.” - Richard Rudd.

In French we say, “Elle est entière”, when speaking about a sincere person.

This translates literally into “she is whole.”

Being whole in the spiritual sense does not mean the kind of sincerity or authenticity in the popular sense.

One person can openly say everything she thinks.

It does make her whole or authentic.

Being whole is about reintegrating the shadow parts of ourselves.

We are all unique.

But we are also one.

Let’s put it simply.

As children, we learn to separate parts of our untouched selves into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ones.

Some parts hide as programs in our subconscious mind.

The programs of our subconscious mind run our lives, unless we become aware of them and reintegrate them.

Picture four layers of our ‘identity’:

• The external self is the one everyone can see. This is where we find our roles, social masks, or personas. You are a student, a woman, a coach, a parent...
• The internal self: the inner energy you bring to what you do. This is the inner energy you bring to your external self. Are you a leader, visionnaire, a follower, a challenger, a teacher...?
• The secret self: the subconscious programs that run at a deeper level. Even when you are unaware of them, they run you (different ones in different contexts). You become aware of their presence when something or someone triggers you.
• The ghost self: parts of you that are attached to the past.

Examples of subconscious programs that show a need for reintegration are self-sabotage, people-pleasing behaviors, perfectionism, a scarcity mindset, and a victim mentality.

These are just examples. There are many more.

The problem?

You don’t control those programs. They control you.

In my e-book, I develop the need to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. Growing up in an environment where resources are scarce can lead to a constant fear of lack, even when abundance is present.

But there’s more.

The environment we live in is painted with the color of scarcity.

If this were not true, there would not be competition (for jobs, food, power...).

This shift can have the most significant impact on other limiting patterns.

Reintegrating these subconscious programs is a journey of self-discovery and healing.

It involves shining light on the shadow parts of our identity and embracing them with compassion.

By doing so, we become whole.

We align with our true essence.

We live in harmony with ourselves and the world around us.

No program is running us anymore.

We are free.

“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” - Rainer Maria Rilke.

Practical Steps to Integrate Mind, Body, and Spirit

Today, I share two practices on the Spiritual Path.

Note these are not specific to reintegrating your shadows into a whole self.

But you are free to use them with this particular intention.

Śamatha (focus meditation)

Śamatha, which means “calm abiding,” is a form of meditation with roots in ancient Indian spiritual traditions, particularly Buddhism and Hinduism.

It is one of the oldest and most practiced forms of meditation to develop a calm and focused mind.

Why Practice Śamatha?

The primary purpose of Śamatha meditation is to train the mind to concentrate on a single focus point, thereby reducing distractions and mental chatter.

To practice Śamatha meditation, follow these steps:

1. Choose a Focus: Select an object for your meditation, such as your breath, a candle flame, or a mantra. The breath is a particularly powerful focus due to its natural connection with the body and mind.
2. Find a Comfortable Position: Sit comfortably in a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Keep your back straight, relax your shoulders, and place your hands on your knees or lap.
3. Begin with Deep Breaths: Take a few deep breaths to relax and center yourself. Allow your breathing to become natural and steady.
4. Direct Your Attention: Gently bring your attention to your chosen point of focus. If you’re focusing on your breath, notice the sensation of air entering and leaving your nostrils or the rise and fall of your chest.
5. Maintain Focus: As you focus, thoughts and distractions will arise. When this happens, gently acknowledge them and return your attention to your chosen focus without judgment or frustration.

Breath Control (Prāṇāyāma)

Prāṇāyāma is a Sanskrit term composed of “prāṇa” (life force or breath) and “āyāma” (extension or control).

It is an ancient practice with roots in the Vedic tradition of India, later becoming a crucial component of Yoga and Ayurveda.

Prāṇāyāma is one of the eight limbs of Yoga, as outlined in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. It emphasizes the importance of breath control in achieving spiritual enlightenment and physical health.

Why Practice Prāṇāyāma?

Prāṇāyāma serves as a bridge between the body and mind, using the breath as a tool to regulate energy and consciousness. The practice offers numerous benefits:

• It regulates energy
• It enhances concentration and mental acuity.
• It reduces stress, and balances the nervous system.

To practice Prāṇāyāma, follow these steps:

1. Settle into a Relaxed Position: Sit comfortably with your spine erect and your hands resting on your knees or lap. Close your eyes to minimize distractions.
2. Observe Your Breath: Begin by observing your natural breathing pattern without trying to change it. Notice the rhythm, depth, and sensation of each breath.
3. Deepen Your Breath: Gradually deepen your breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your abdomen to expand. Exhale gently, letting your abdomen contract. Aim for long, smooth, and even breaths.
4. Equalize Inhalation and Exhalation: Focus on making the length of your inhalations and exhalations equal. This balanced breathing helps stabilize the mind and body.
5. Practice Mindful Breathing: As you continue breathing deeply, maintain your awareness on each breath. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath.

My Personal Journey

The purpose of my spiritual path is twofold:

• reconnecting with myself
• reconnecting. with the universe

The path to wholeness is probably the master path to achieving those goals.

Recently, I discovered a very effective way to reintegrate my shadow parts into a whole being.

This practice has helped me to transform the feeling of inadequacy (the shadow) into resourcefulness (the gift).

This practice is based on contemplation.

Contact me if you’d like to know more.

Final words

I’m excited for you to explore this step of the spiritual path.

Every small step to harmonize your being brings you closer to your higher purpose and more impactful life.

If you have any questions or thoughts, just reply to this letter.

I’m here for you.

Thank you for reading.

Be well, be whole.